To the Test that Wasn’t

I had one of the worst days in a long time yesterday. When I am not blogging, I am a full time Medical Coder. I have been coding for almost 8 years now and I have one certification. I have been studying for months for my second coding certification. Because of the coronavirus, my April test date came and went and I was rescheduled for May. The week leading up to the test was all nerves with the day before having so much anxiety I could not keep still or focus on my work. I went for a long walk and that helped calm me down a little.

That morning I got up early and made it to the testing center 30 min early. I still was a little nervous but I woke up feeling determined and ready. I was so ready and I was so ready to get it over with. Pass or fail I was ready to get what was going to be handed to me in 4 hours. 

Upon entering the testing center and giving them my information, I was informed that my name was not on the list to be tested that day. WHAT?!?! There has got to be a mistake. In the mere minutes it took my brain to register that I wasn’t going to take my test that day, I was walking out the door humiliated and angry. How could this happen? I spent the entire day yesterday mentally preparing for this. My body and mind took a beating that I was not ready for. I was called out in front of the other testing recipients and was told that this has happened before and that here is a phone number I could call. I walked back to my car feeling helpless, hopeless, and just plain embarrassed. Apparently the computer automatically rescheduled me and something happened in that process.

My anxiety was so bad the rest of the day and I felt wronged. I felt wronged on how I was treated at the testing center. I felt wronged by how I had all these anxious thoughts and feelings for nothing. I felt wronged for just being alive that day.

Thanks for reading,


By The Anxiety Diva

I've had anxiety for as long as I could remember and my number one goal is to help people through their anxiety challenges by telling my story.

One reply on “To the Test that Wasn’t”

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