If you have read any of my other posts you already know I suffer with chronic anxiety. When my anxiety gets really bad, I get depressed and the cycle continues. When the coronavirus hit New Orleans things got bad quick. The life I was living was cut off and my husband was put in harm’s way. That’s when it started happening, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The stores were running out of food and I had to get out there. My husband who is the logical thinker in this relationship already had us stocked up in food and toiletries but it was NOT enough. I HAD to go buy more. I had to get one more pack of toilet paper, one more can of vegetables, one more case of water. I would sit here and drive myself absolutely mad until I went. Obsessive thoughts and compulsive habits. My brain was trying to protect me from everything that was going on around me. My brain told me I didn’t have enough everyday for days. My husband took my car to work one day and I had to borrow my dad’s car to go to the store because if I didn’t do it right then and there I felt as though I would have exploded. OCD. I never thought of myself as someone who has OCD but now I know it was always there right below the surface waiting to come out as a coping mechanism when (it) thought I needed (it) the most.
Thanks for reading!